Viridi
by Lancun
Summary: It was amazing, how one color could be a source of bliss and happiness, yet at the same time a source of pain and regret. Following a discussion with Dumbledore in the afterlife, Severus Snape is given a chance to return and face those regrets. Severus x Lily. A rewrite/retooling of "Tempus Vita". Cover image "Always" belongs to ExothermicEX on DeviantArt.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the characters, settings, or scenarios of the Harry Potter universe. A few lines from Order of the Phoenix and Deathly Hallows were used for the sake of story accuracy.**

A scream...

In the back of his mind, Severus wondered whether she too, had screamed when faced with her final moments in life. But this was not a scream of fear. No. Fear had long been abandoned by the man who had naught but a memory to live for.

It was pain. Searing pain as fangs pierced his neck, followed instantly by the burning sensation of the venom as it began coursing through his veins. His body's functions started to fail, and he collapsed to the ground just as quickly as the cage that had been forced upon him.

A gruesome end, to be sure. But no matter how deeply the pain began to stab into his body...he couldn't shake the feeling that this was exactly what he deserved.

"I regret it." came the insincere voice of Lord Voldemort as he turned away from who he believed to be his most trusted servant.

" _I don't…"_ Severus thought wistfully as the seconds felt like minutes. He didn't deserve a clean, painless death like the one she had been dealt..

The fallen Slytherin's eyes hazily followed the Dark Lord as he exited the claustrophobic interior of the Shrieking Shack. A place where, in what seemed like another life, Snape had faced death as it wore a different mask. Large...imposing...canine...with a demonic howl that sent fear through his spine. He vaguely remembered in that moment, as a teenager, he had begged to whatever gods he believed in that he would not die that day, and his prayers had been answered.

Here in the present, looking back...Severus almost wished that they hadn't been.

It was an empty gesture as the dying man pressed his hand on the wound to try to stop the bleeding. Even if he succeeded, the venom was killing him from the inside. He knew he would fail in his struggle, but there was a nagging voice in the back of his mind. The voice of a man Severus hadn't seen since the day he was murdered by his own hand, a voice that for some seventeen years had also been his conscience.

He could hear the old wizard, Dumbledore, urging him to try to survive, for the sake of the mission. For the sake of the countless lives in the wizarding world, a legion of nameless faces that didn't know him, or if they did, they despised him.

Was it elation...or terror that flooded through Severus' face when the one that despised him most of all suddenly appeared before him?

Perhaps it was both. Relief at being able to appease that cursed Spymaster, which was followed shortly by dread when he remembered that success in the mission also meant failure in his life's purpose. The salvation of the wizarding world would result in the final betrayal by Severus Snape to Lily Evans Potter.

"Take...it...Take...it…" he choked amidst the blood.

As the memories began to pour out of him, so too did the pain as everything began to feel numb. His hearing was dulled by his own shivering. And amidst the haze that spread across his vision, there was a teasing glint of that brilliant green. It was simultaneously the greatest gift, and the most dreadful curse he could dare ask for in his final moments.

"Look...at...me…" he begged. It was more than he should have asked, but now was not the moment for subtlety. The green met the black upon the dying man's request.

Green…

The color of his Slytherin House.

The eyes of the only one he had ever desired.

The color of the spell that ended her life.

The eyes set within the face that was living proof of his failure.

Joy and pain seemed irrevocably intertwined by such a simple thing as a color. But even that faded in time, until all that remained was white.

Did an eternity pass? Or was it a mere moment? Did it even matter if he never moved from his prone position again?

He didn't care. There was nothing waiting for him. Nothing except someone he had no right to see, nor speak to. Besides, where she had gone, he could not follow.

No. Severus greatly preferred resting here. Wherever here was. It was silent. Peaceful. Nothing at all to bother him but the growing itch upon his chest. And the comfort of the silence was pierced by two words.

"Potentia Animus."

Snape's eyes snapped open and he let out an audible gasp to see a figure hovering above him. That ever-infuriating smile, that childish twinkle in the eye, deceptive to any who did not know the cunning that rested just beneath the surface.

There, leaning over Severus was Albus Dumbledore, looking far more vibrant than he had in his final few days.

The Slytherin man shook his head and shut his eyes once more. "...I was having the greatest dream...I was finally rid of you. I should have known it was not to be." he groaned.

Dumbledore chuckled lightheartedly. "It's wonderful to see that death has not stripped you of your sarcasm, Severus. One of your finest traits, if I may be so bold."

"I think I preferred us alive. At least then you would sleep from time to time and give me peace. A luxury I wasn't gifted after the little show you forced me to take part in and I had to put up with your portrait. I can think of no greater hell than to listen to your codswallop for the next eternity."

Clearly, Severus' biting remark had no effect on the older Headmaster, as his laughter only intensified. "Truly? You mean that, Severus?"

"No. It would be far worse to be stuck in a room forever with Black and Potter." the younger one quipped back.

Dumbledore's jovial expression softened. "That's not what I was asking, Severus. You said you preferred us alive. Do you mean to say that some part of you still clings to the world you left behind?"

Of all of the unflattering words that had been flown towards Dumbledore, THAT had been what he clung to?

"I fail to see the point in asking a dead man if he misses life among the living. Surely if I had, I would have just become another ghost."

"Humor an old man, Severus. I don't expect to have the rest of eternity to enjoy your company." the old wizard persisted.

"And why is that?" the Slytherin raised an eyebrow. Their verbal sparring was just as intriguing, and exhausting, as he remembered.

"Call it intuition. A hunch...but first I need your answer."

"I don't cling to that world, Albus. My job is done. I sent Potter to his grave at your request. Gave him everything he needed. My most private of memories."

Dumbledore's lips curled into a knowing smile. "From an era that you DO cling to. You never stopped. Old grudges...old regrets...and eternal love. It all came from your days as a student…"

Severus said nothing, merely getting to his feet and suddenly feeling a jolt within his chest, as if something had set into place.

"Another question. My final one, I assure you. If you could change things...to create your own world. Knowing what you know now. Would you?"

"Not exactly the question to ask a man with regrets, 'clinging to another time' as you phrased, don't you think? The answer should be obvious." Snape grumbled.

"On the contrary. We all can have regrets. Wishes...my own life was full of them. Particularly in my younger days. But I would not go back to change them in the slightest. The things I regret led me to my joys. Watching and protecting thousands of wonderful young witches and wizards, making so many beloved friends. One of my best friends stands before me here, and I am given the honor of leading him to his next journey."

"And where does that journey lead me?" Severus turned towards the endless white in front of him.

"Ah, but that is your choice, my friend. Will you be going on to the eternity of the afterlife, or would you be so inclined to take a chance on yourself...and go back to that era of regret?"

The Slytherin's head sharply turned back towards Dumbledore's, wide-eyed confusion spread over his face.

The silver-haired Headmaster began to slowly circle around Severus. "I have not been forthcoming with you, Severus. Because yours is a case that is rarely seen here. After all, how many people die with a love so strong, yet nowhere and nobody to leave it to?

"When that love follows you into death, built up for so long like a fermented potion...if you dare to take the stopper off, I think you'll find a grand miracle waiting for you. Magic stronger than anything you have seen in life. A chance to return...older...wiser...and stronger."

Albus set a wrinkled hand atop Snape's shoulder, the younger wizard looking into those twinkling, blue eyes. Severus was completely lost, his usual scoffs at Dumbledore's incessant ramblings of love had been noticeably absent.

"Severus. Feel. Don't think. Feel a point in your life that you wish you could change."

There was an urgency in Dumbledore's voice which meant that the time for banter or protest was done. And so he remembered that time...pain, humiliation...anger...and sudden loss. Where in his life had things gone horribly wrong?

It was too obvious an answer.

"Let your heart guide you...and I think this time, things will turn out better for you. Goodbye, my friend. And good luck." Albus patted him on the shoulder and suddenly, Severus was falling.

Falling…

The soft white of the abyss surrounding him began to shine brighter, blinding...almost as if it were sunlight.

The silent peace was disturbed by the sound of rushing winds, and the annoying sound of children yelling and cheering. There was a sensation of blood rushing to his head, like he were upside-down. Was he?

"-et him down!" a voice...No... **the voice** echoed.

"Certainly." came another.

Before Severus had a moment to even look for the source of the voices, that sensation of falling returned. Then came a sickening _thud_. And what followed was pain…an instant of pain so severe, he thought Nagini had bitten him once again.

Mercifully, it all vanished within a second. This time to black

 **Author's Note: This story is a rewrite/retooling of my other "Snape Back in Time" story, 'Tempus Vita'. This prologue is the first of many things that I hope to improve upon in the coming weeks. The general structure and major plot points of the previous story will be in this one. Some minor things will be changed or reworked, but the destination will be the same, I promise! Please leave any reviews you may have with your thoughts or comparisons between this prologue and the previous one!**


	2. Chapter 1: A Heartfelt Apology

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, settings, or concepts from the world of Harry Potter**

Waking up this time had been decidedly less pleasant than the white purgatory. Even the twitch of his eyes as he stirred awake hurt. Hearing the voices passing by was torture, as was that ringing in his ears. And Merlin help him if he tried to move his head in the slightest.

Severus immediately began to compare the feeling to a spike being rammed through the back of his head.

The whole ordeal, even trying to open his eyes, was more sharp and prolonged than the attack by Nagini. At least THAT had numbed shortly afterward.

Opening his eyes let in that tortuous glare of the sun, and immediately he began to reel, throwing an arm back over his face. If a student had seen him, it would only add to the ridiculous rumors that he was a vampire.

Footsteps began to click on a marble floor, each one blasting through Snape's head like a _Reducto_ to his brain. Louder. LOUDER. **LOUDER.** This was it. He must have crossed over into hell and begun his eternity of punishment.

"Be careful, Mr. Snape. We don't want to make it worse. Shh...Relax."

The feminine voice sounded familiar, but Severus couldn't place it between the pain and the ringing in his head.

"Turn your head to the side, please." the mysterious woman requested. Not willing to argue, he obeyed, and doing so he noticed a bottle on his bedside. Ringing head or not, Severus immediately recognized it between the teal-colored liquid and the label. A Wide-Eye Potion, designed to prevent sleep, awaken from a drugging, or…

"I'm using some Star Grass Salve to help you with the pain. Sadly, there isn't much more we can do for concussions than a Muggle Doctor."

Immediately, Severus felt pressure on the back of his head, which hurt for a brief instant. Suddenly though, a soothing aroma reached his nostrils and a lightheaded numbness spread throughout his senses. It was just enough for him to focus on the voice and be able to place it with the help of his memories.

"Poppy..?" he asked groggily, though he was startled by the youthful voice he heard.

"Excuse me, Mr. Snape. I'll give you some leeway due to the concussion, but the rest of the teachers may not hesitate to take points from Slytherin for your disrespect. Please mind your manners."

" _Manners?"_ Severus thought to himself. He had been on a first-name basis with everyone on the Hogwarts staff for nearly two decades.

 _Two decades._

His eyes widened.

"Excuse me...Madam Pomfrey." Severus croaked, perplexed at hearing a teenage voice escape his lips again. Just what point in time had he been flung back to? "...What day is it? How long...have I been asleep?"

"Not long. It's still Thursday. We couldn't let you stay unconscious for fear of complicating the injury." the school Matron answered, having finished applying the salve to his head, turning it back up so that she could face him.

It was one jarring shock after another for Severus; Madam Pomfrey looked far younger than he had seen in years. Her face was almost devoid of wrinkles. The gray hair was still a vibrant blonde. The only thing that he could recognize was her shining, blue eyes.

"It looks like your eyes are responding well to the light now." she gave Severus a warm smile.

"What happened?" the teenage boy asked, still dumbfounded.

There it was. The familiar, frustrated scowl he remembered spread on Madam Pomfrey's face. "What happened was you and Mr. Potter got into another barney down by the lake. He had you hoisted up and dropped you squarely on your head. What in Merlin's name goes through your head when you two do this?! I hope you realize that this is going to cut into your O.W.L.s"

 _Potter..._

 _Lake…_

 _O.W.L.s…_

" _Feel a point in your life that you wish you could change."_ Dumbledore's words echoed again.

That was where he had been thrust. His Worst Memory. The moment right before he said…

"How did I get here?" Severus asked suddenly.

"Well, Mr. Potter brought you in on a conjured gurney. It would have been rather impressive magic if he hadn't been the one to leave you like this. Given that he was followed in by Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans, they probably had something to do with convincing him to do the right thing.

 _Miss Evans._

Severus immediately felt his stomach lurch at the mention of Lily. The mention of two enemies, Potter and Lupin, didn't seem to matter to him. She was alive. And if nothing else, she still cared enough to help him get treated for a concussion.

His eyes scanned the entirety of the Hospital Wing, looking around desperately. He understood the words that Madam Pomfrey told him, but he didn't dare hope or believe them until he saw her for himself. Despite his search, there was no sign of that fiery mane of red hair, nor those deep, green eyes.

Sensing his urgency, the Matron piped in. "Relax Mr. Snape. They all left before you woke up. Given that it's almost sundown, I imagine that all of them are going to be in the Great Hall soon for supper."

Hope, followed by disappointment. Two emotions that Severus had not experienced in a very long time. He let out an exhausted sigh, and let his head rest back on the pillow in defeat.

"I'm going to be leaving for supper as well. It's probably too soon for you to hold down any food without vomiting." The School Healer pointed towards the bottle at his bedside table. "You may rest your eyes, but sleep is too dangerous tonight. I want you to take one sip of that potion every few hours. I'll be back a little while after curfew to give you another application of the salve to keep you calm and relatively pain-free, but you are not to leave the bed for any reason. Is that understood?"

Severus nodded slightly. Madam Pomfrey had been like the mother that had been absent in his life. He remembered during his teenage years how often he would visit the Hospital Wing due to his fights with James Potter. She always had a stern foundation of morals, giving him advice that his younger mind didn't care to hear.

That was how it had always been. Everyone had an agenda. They all had tried to steer him in a certain direction, yet Severus knew from the start what his ambitions were. Strength. Influence. And above all, acceptance. The only ones he ever listened to were the ones that told him what he wanted to hear. Rather than what he NEEDED to hear. Much like every other impetuous teenager that he had seen come in as wide-eyed first years and leave as fully-grown adult witches and wizards.

He shut his eyes and started to recall the scene that had played in his mind thousands of times. What he would do if he had the power to go back and change that moment. How he would easily disarm Potter and humiliate all four of those wretched Marauders. The popular Quidditch Hero. His sadistic, best friend. Their snivelling tag-along who ratted Lily out to the Dark Lord. And lastly, the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, too concerned with keeping his friends than to adhere to his responsibilities as a Prefect.

Even now, the thought of those four infuriated Severus. He knew, if he had been dropped into that scene a few minutes earlier, how different things would have gone. And he almost felt cheated out of that moment of glory.

Almost.

None of that mattered, as long as he had at least avoided uttering that wretched word. Even if it meant that he fell on his head like the inept Longbottom boy. For all of the humiliation that his pride had suffered that day, he would endure it all ten times over just for the opportunity to change that one thing.

" _But now what?"_ he thought curiously to himself. _"...What can I possibly say if I see her again?"_

It was a strange predicament, to be sure. For almost two decades of spying on Voldemort and the Death Eaters, Severus had been walking a tightrope where one slip would result in his death. Which is why he was so incredibly skilled at it. Because the consequence meant absolutely nothing to him.

Here, if he truly had returned to his teenage years at Hogwarts, if Lily was in fact alive again...the consequence of falling off that tightrope was so laughably mundane compared to the eternity of death. So why was it so jarring to think about what exactly he should say? Why was it so hard to think at all?

" _Severus. Feel. Don't think."_ the words of Dumbledore returned once again to the forefront.

 _Dumbledore._

Severus opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling. If he was young again...that meant that the old Headmaster was also alive. Would he remember Severus if they crossed paths again? Would he be expected to resume his duties as a spy in a world where the threat of Lord Voldemort was just beginning to come to a head?

There were so many lingering questions distracting Severus that he had scarcely noticed that night had already fallen amidst his pondering. And that a visitor had wandered in…

"You're awake…" a soft voice whispered, silencing all of the noise and thoughts flooding through his mind.

His eyes remained glued to the ceiling, almost too petrified to move. That bubbling sensation in his stomach returned tenfold. That voice...it had been so long since he had heard it clearly with his own ears.

It took nearly all of his strength just for the simple motion to tear his gaze away from the white ceiling of the Hospital Wing...down through the air...past the vibrant, copper curls...and into those bright green eyes. There, standing at his bedside, was Lily, her arms folded, with an obviously frustrated expression on her face.

The reborn teenager's breaths instantly became labored when his mind registered her presence. Within a few seconds, he was hyperventilating, but didn't dare take his eyes off of her for fear that she would disappear. That cauldron was bubbling...and within seconds, its contents burst.

He couldn't keep it in any longer, and his lunch...whatever that had been some twenty-two years ago, was retched onto the floor just a few feet from where Lily had been standing.

" _Five-hundred points from Slytherin...for vomiting in front of her before so much as a word was said. Brilliant, Snape."_ he thought to himself in sheer humiliation.

"God, Severus…" The Muggleborn girl shook her head with disgust and pity, reaching into her pocket and pulling out that unmistakable, willow wand. She pointed it at the bile " _Scourgify_ ".

Once the incantation was spoken, numerous soapy bubbles began to scrub and clean at the mess that Severus had made, and within moments, it was gone completely.

Wiping away at his mouth, the young man continued to look up at Lily, with a mixture of awe and frustration at his atrocious first impression. "...What are you doing here?"

The question hadn't been meant as an insult, but clearly the words had struck a nerve as Lily's lips pursed. "To be honest, I'm asking myself the same question right now. I THOUGHT I would come and check up on a friend, but maybe I'm in the wrong place. Are we even friends anymore?"

Please. No. Not again. He hadn't even said it this time. "...Wha...why on Earth would you ask me that?

"Why wouldn't I? You haven't spoken to me in over a week, you skived off last night when I invited you to study in the library for the Ancient Runes O.W.L., I tried to help you down by the lake, and THAT is the first thing you say to me?"

Merlin, those eyes were capable of burning away the layers of Occlumency, especially when they flared like a pair of enchanted, green flames. His frustration began to grow, and within moments, he was making the same, impulsive comments he did when he actually had been sixteen.

"You came to help me because of that pretty little badge you wear so proudly on your chest!" Severus snapped, pointing at her crimson and gold Prefect's Badge that was shining in the dimly lit room.

Lily gasped, taken aback by his sharp words. Definitely not the right thing to say.

"No...I came to help you because it was the right thing to do. Because I wanted to try to get your attention one more time! Maybe remind you that I exist? It was more than you deserved, because when I realized you weren't coming to study with me, I passed by the Restricted Section and saw you chatting it up with Avery and Mulciber. What happened? Was the stupid _Mudblood_ not worth your time?"

"DON'T say that word!" Severus winced.

"Why not?! You've said it before, just not to me!" Lily hissed as she stamped her foot on the marble floor

The words continued to pour from the girl, along with the one thing that he absolutely was not prepared for. He noticed tears beginning to fill her eyes.

"Severus, I can NOT keep doing this to myself! I wanted to help you. You were innocent in that whole ordeal until the moment you flung _that spell_ at Potter."

This wasn't how Severus was expecting or hoping this would go. He had remembered all of the good times he had spent with this girl. Memories that he clung to as the best times he had ever experienced. Memories that were strong enough to conjure a Patronus. Good times...that clearly had not been shared by the two for quite some time, even at this point.

The image returned to his mind. A single visual from the countless times he had gone back and viewed that memory from every conceivable angle. One that still hurt him, even now.

"Is that why you smiled?" he asked coldly.

"Yes." she responded without hesitation. "You could have just let me do my job and you wouldn't have gotten hurt. I was trying to help you, but that wasn't enough. You still had to get your licks in at Potter."

"He humiliated me!"

"I KNOW! And I was the ONLY one who came to help you!" Lily roared back, the tears breaking free and beginning to trickle down her cheeks. "Not Rosier! Not Avery! Not Mulciber! ME!"

Severus took a deep breath in, and calmed himself. He had to take back control in this situation before it would serve as a repeat of the way this night had gone in another life...at the Fat Lady's Portrait...the last conversation he ever had with Lily. And there was only one way to do that.

"You're right." he whispered gently. "You are. Nobody else helped me. And whether it was stupid pride, childish ignorance, or worse, just taking you for granted, expecting that you would be around forever, I have never thanked you. Not once. And of all the mistakes I have made, that is one that I regret most of all."

Lily's tear-filled glare softened at Severus' words.

"...I can't go back and change all those times that I was blinded by Slytherin ambition. All I can do is apologize to you here and now. And tell you that I mean it...with all my heart. Your friendship was the greatest gift I could have ever received. And losing it...is one of the worst things that I could ever hope to endure."

The boy's black eyes, so intense and focused during his years as an intimidating teacher, had let up and regarded Lily's green eyes with a gentle sincerity that he didn't care to give anyone else.

The Muggleborn girl remained silent for another minute or so, letting a silence hang following the words that Severus had spoken to her.

Throughout that silence, there were distant rings of the clock tower bell. There were ten in all, signifying that curfew had begun.

Her lips quivered, and she breathed in deeply, wiping away her tears. "Do you know why I hate _that word_ so much..?"

"Aside from it being filthy, rude, and wrong?" he asked with a slight frown, not needing to even ask what word she was referring to..

Lily's lips smiled, ever so briefly, before the pain returned to her face. "...Because it's a statement that people like me don't belong in this world. Think for a moment how that feels...especially when you promised me...before we ever came here. When it was just us, back home in Cokeworth...you promised me that it didn't make a difference if I was born from Wizards or Muggles."

"It doesn't." Severus declared without hesitation. It was a fact he had accepted long ago...but still too late for it to matter the first time around.

"...Then prove it." she whispered, turning around and beginning to walk towards the exit.

Lily had gone halfway to the door before turning her head back towards the Slytherin boy. "Goodnight, Severus."

His eyes had remained locked on Lily, where they never strayed from the moment their conversation had begun. "Goodnight, Lily." he replied, finally daring to call her by name. "...And thank you."

 **Author's Note: One of the problems I had looking back on my original fanfic, Tempus Vita, was how quickly and easily Severus and Lily had managed to patch things up. The reality of the situation is that it was a relationship that had degenerated for a long time, months, if not at least a year, thanks in part to his pride and unwillingness to listen, as shown in The Prince's Tale. Calling her a Mudblood was certainly the straw that broke the camel's back, but make no mistake, everything that had led up to it played its part as well.**

 **What those things were, we are only left to assume, unless Jo Rowling ever decides to give us the details on Pottermore. Severus clearly had a lot of bad habits as he grew into the typical Slytherin, but Lily was also to blame for her quick temper and inability to know how to articulate her thoughts without riling him up. I tried my best to show it in this chapter. Had Severus not had the maturity and the experience of how badly things had ended the first time, and taken a step back to apologize before he said something he'd regret, it likely would have had the same result, Mudblood slip or not.**

 **There are a lot of hurdles that these two need to jump before their friendship can return to full strength, and they both need to be willing to try to make it work.**

 **As always, please let me know what you thought of the chapter! The more detailed the review, the better, as I'm always looking for advice and ways to improve even more as I go! If you happened to read the corresponding Sev/Lily reunion in Tempus Vita and wish to compare the two, I'll be especially interested! Thanks again, and I'll be back soon with more!**


	3. Chapter 2: The Lioness

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, settings, or concepts of the Harry Potter universe.**

" _Why am I still doing this to myself?"_ Lily thought with exhaustion, making her way through the dimly-lit halls of Hogwarts. _"...Why did he have to sound so mature?"_

It wasn't her intention to walk into the Hospital Wing and start berating her childhood friend. After all, Severus was hurt far worse than she had ever seen before, and it scared her half to death to see him so deathly still down by the lake. It took all of her self-control to not send a flurry of curses towards James Potter when she briefly thought that the Slytherin had been killed on accident.

Lily's visit had been one of concern for his health, along with a last-ditch effort to try to show Severus that she still cared. But it didn't seem to matter. He started the conversation in the same, prickly way he always had. Actions were what spoke loudest to Severus. It was why she intervened during the attack at the Great Lake, yet even that did little to temper the boy's anger. It didn't stop him from using _that spell_ as payback to Potter when she had everything under control.

" _Is that why you smiled?"_ she recalled the empty, almost lifeless way Severus had asked her the question.

If she wasn't trapped in the heat of the moment and her rising emotions, such a question would have cut through her. Of course it had been cruel to smile at all. Even if Severus had fought back, her friend was being humiliated before a group of immature, cheering teenagers. Smiling, even as briefly as she did...had been cruel.

" _Severus...why did you have to fight back using that spell? You could have used anything else...ANYTHING…why Sectumsempra?"_ she shivered.

Her footsteps were the only noise that echoed across the castle corridors. It wasn't her turn to patrol the halls for Prefect Duty, so it wouldn't do well to remain in the halls for too long after curfew.

Why did it always have to be dark magic when it came to Severus? Why was he so drawn to the very reason why so many people were afraid of him? Why was it okay for him to laugh off outright dangerous, and hurtful magic, and still call Muggleborns that awful slur when he promised her that blood made no difference?

" _It doesn't"_

Lily stopped in her tracks, remembering those simple words. How Severus sounded so genuine...and so mature...once he finally calmed down and stopped letting his anger rule him. It would have been so easy for her to accept his apology on the spot and pull him in for a hug.

But how could she, when not one day earlier, she was blown off after setting aside some time so they could both do some last minute refresher studies on the Ancient Runes exam? And how, after waiting patiently for nearly a whole hour for him to show, she overheard Severus, Avery, and Mulcibur looking quite suspicious in the Restricted Section of the Library. And how he was distinctly, incantation, wand movement and all, telling them of that horrible spell that he had been perfecting.

 _Sectumsempra._

The very thought that Severus, her childhood friend, her rock, the one who had introduced her to the magical world that she loved so much, was capable of such ruthless aggression...it was the subject of many a spat between the two for the past few months. And the fact that he had skipped time that she had hoped to spend with him, in favor of bragging about such a violent spell that he intended to use against enemies was one of the many things that had sent Lily into crying fits when she slept throughout most of fifth year.

She was losing him. And it didn't seem to matter what she said or did, nothing ever seemed to get through to him. He had been caught saying that horrible word multiple times, focused more on trying to ingratiate himself to the militant Slytherins, and created his own, signature weapon.

Early on, he tried to lie to her about its purpose. With little success.

" _It's just a cutting spell...something I can use to help me prepare ingredients in Potions."_ he would mumble half-heartedly.

" _Then use Diffindo."_ she responded with growing frustration. _"Why on Earth would you create a bloody sword to do precision work when the rest of the wizarding world uses a magical knife?!"_

Then she had seen it. Scribbled in the margins of his secondhand Potions textbook. The truer, darker purpose of what he spent so much of his free time perfecting - For Enemies.

Lily had never taken offense to Severus defending himself from James Potter's attacks, though there were plenty of times when the Slytherin boy himself had instigated the violence. No. Self-defense was not the question. It was how obsessively he had been working on something he intended to use in order to mutilate someone...or worse.

"Password?" the Fat Lady's portrait had asked, suddenly jarring Lily out of her thoughts. She had made it all the way up to Gryffindor Tower on autopilot amidst her pondering.

"Oh...yes. Philosopher's Stone." she stammered before the door swung open and she made her way into the Common Room.

" _...That is the sort of thing that he should be putting his efforts into."_ she continued thinking to herself. _"Making a Philosopher's Stone...solving the mystery of how to fly."_

Lily sat down on one of the plush sofas that stood next to the cozy fireplace. Given that it was the time for end-of-year exams, there wasn't a single student besides her in the common room. That was just as well. It was doubtful that she would get to sleep tonight until she had time to sift through her own thoughts.

" _He's brilliant enough to do anything he puts his mind to...yet all he cares about is making a bloody weapon to give himself an edge over his enemies."_

That was the person that Severus had been growing into. Angry...hateful, bitter, and if he was questioned about any of it, he would avert his eyes and mumble something about James Potter. His deflection was perhaps the worst trait of all in Lily's eyes, because she could never talk to him about it without the subject being derailed into a conversation completely unrelated. Communication between the two had become so toxic that Lily was starting to buy into the words of her other friends that she should just let go and realize that the good in him was gone.

Or at least it had been...until the strange conversation in the Hospital Wing. Clearly, there was still anger there. But it had been Severus...Severus Snape of all people who stopped the conversation from devolving into an all-out shouting match and gone out on a limb. He took the first step and apologized. Despite how mortified he must have been from the scene at the lake, to her being there as he vomited, and how hurt he must of been, both physically from the concussion, and emotionally from the fact that in the briefest of moments, she took satisfaction in his embarrassment.

Now that Lily had put some time and distance between her and the situation, she felt a void beginning to creep into her chest. _"You actually smiled...and if that wasn't enough, you had the audacity to plunge the knife even deeper by defending yourself when he called you out on it."_

She let out a shudder, her lips frowning as she looked up at the portrait of the mighty lion that hung over the fireplace.

"Not a very shining example of Gryffindor chivalry...was it, Aslan?" Lily choked as the tears returned again. Her intentions for the night had been to study for the Ancient Runes O.W.L. in an attempt to shore up her weakest subject. Instead, all she could do was quietly sob, realizing how very nearly she had come to losing her best friend on this terrible, terrible day.

 **Author's Note: During the time that I was listing things that I wish I had done in Tempus Vita, one of those things that I wished I had done was properly articulate the things that were going on in Lily's head at regular intervals. Even though this is a story that is focused primarily on Severus, as he is the central character, and the one that by far, goes through the most changes, Lily is the other half of the equation.**

 **Point of view shifts mid-chapter were a bit disorienting, and I decided that the proper way to do it was to have Lily's point of views be their own chapters.**

 **As I alluded to last time, I don't think I did a proper enough job of showing just how close these two had come to losing everything. Obviously, readers are free to interpret things as they will, but in my eyes, as I read 'The Prince's Tale', there is more there than just calling Lily a Mudblood. She makes mention that he calls EVERY Muggleborn a Mudblood, which is a direct betrayal of her hopeful question that she asked him when they were children. Did he mean it when he said it to her? Of course not. But Lily can't just be the exception to an ugly Slytherin rule.**

 **The last point: Sectumsempra. In Tempus Vita, alluded to it being one of the things that drove the biggest wedge between Severus and Lily, but I feel I didn't really push the envelope quite enough with it. I had Lily be afraid of it...I had it be one of the triggers of her Boggart, but I wished I had gone into greater detail of why it's so important to Lily that Severus made that promise in the previous story. There will be more discussions about Sectumsempra later.**

 **Another, unrelated note, is the addition of Lily looking at the Gryffindor Lion and naming it Aslan (the lion character from Chronicles of Narnia). Given that in Tempus Vita, Lily's father Jasper Evans was a writer of children's fiction (something that will carry over into Viridi) I wanted Lily to have a childish little quirk of having named the symbol of her house after a character in a popular piece of children's literature that she might have read growing up. "Aslan" is just there to function as a little guiding light for Lily from time to time, the virtues of the character being a parallel that Lily herself aspires to follow.**

 **As always, thank you all for reading, and please consider taking the time to review! It really does help, and the more detailed, the better! Shoutout to TJ Jordan who has left some absolutely spectacular and thought-provoking stuff in the review section. It means a lot!**


	4. Chapter 3: Crisis Averted

**Disclaimer: As always, no ownership of the Harry Potter characters, settings, or concepts are mine.**

Friday morning was a quiet one, given that O.W.L. exams were in full swing at Hogwarts. Once Madam Pomfrey had come to the Hospital Wing to begin her work day, she had Severus complete a few exercises and determined that the concussion was, luckily, a mild one. The moment it was determined that it would be safe for him to sleep, she quickly presented him with a sleeping draught to help him get some much-needed rest.

Having stayed up for so long thanks to the Wide-Eye Potion, it wasn't until almost 3 PM that Snape finally woke up.

After giving him another few cognitive and reflex tests, Madam Pomfrey gave Severus a short rundown of what was to come. "It probably won't be another day or so until we can get you out of here, Mr. Snape. These sorts of injuries are always best handled with some caution."

Severus hadn't been too thrilled with the idea of remaining on bedrest, especially with how busy he always kept himself. Patrolling the halls at night, organizing his personal storage of ingredients, not to mention the countless times Dumbledore would call him to the office.

He realized how all of those familiar habits were . He would have to find new ways to occupy his time; after all, classes would be a joke even if he did decide to humor himself by repeating his education.

It almost stung Severus, being a man so obsessively dedicated to his daily routine. His final year in the previous life had been such a seismic shift from the norm, acting as Headmaster, needing to navigate Hogwarts with such care so as to keep the Carrows' trust, while still keeping the students safe. A return to any kind of peaceful norm was a welcome one, even if he hadn't been a student in over 20 years.

And...as it always did during times where he couldn't distract himself, his mind drifted to Lily. No longer a memory, but now, somehow, a living girl. If Dumbledore's words were true...and this was a real, second life, back in his past...It defied all logic to Severus how anything could be different than it had been in his first life. There had been many theories on time travel in the wizarding world, and each made less sense than the last.

The general consensus had been that meddling with time meant that countless people could be 'unborn' from existence, which is why Ministry Law forbade use of Time Turners for any trip longer than five hours. Even then, another prevailing theory was that travelling through time only allowed the witch or wizard in question to observe events from another perspective, that in the act of travelling through time to make a change, they were unknowingly keeping history moving on its destined course already.

Severus had questioned Dumbledore about the use of the Time Turner in the third year of Harry Potter's time at Hogwarts, having his own suspicions regarding the miraculous escape of Sirius Black from his intended execution. He could still remember the old wizard smiling in a way that seemed designed to infuriate him.

" _The past can never be changed, Severus. Only the future. It is our choices that shape our destinies, and the world around us."_

The whole subject caused Severus' headaches to return, less painful and more just annoying. Here he was, living in the past, and already, yesterday's events had been drastically different than he remembered.

There was no way for him to know how much he could change from the disaster that his life had been. And even if the possibilities were endless, how could he be certain that he was remotely capable of fixing things this time? Where would he even start?

"You know...that's a really bad habit." a familiar voice burst through the quagmire of his thoughts like a lightning bolt. "...That's twice in a row that you've been too distracted to even see me come in."

Severus nearly jumped from the bed at the sudden arrival of Lily, though he looked up at her with none of the hesitation that came the day before. With daylight still shining through the windows, he had a much better visual of the redheaded Gryffindor...exactly as he remembered from all of those times he had gone diving into a Pensieve. Her hair was not loose as it had been when he last saw her, instead tied and hanging over her shoulder in a simple ponytail.

"There you go again. Knut for your thoughts?" she asked with a thin smile as her cheeks turned slightly red from how intensely Severus was looking at her.

"Trust me...you don't want any part of what's going on in here…" he sighed weakly, shaking his head.

"Actually, I do. Yesterday was proof that...we really need to talk. Just you and me." Lily insisted, sitting down in the chair at his bedside.

The boy turned his head back and forth, looking at the five or six other students that were laying in their beds. There was also Madam Pomfrey, who had her wand out and was helping to repair a young Hufflepuff boy's broken wrist. His black eyes met Lily's green once again and he shook his head. "I'm afraid if it's privacy you're looking for...this may not be the time or the place."

Lily smirked, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Anytime, anywhere, is a fine time, Severus. Don't tell me that concussion made you forget one of your best inventions." She drew her wand, pointed it at the floor between them, and whispered the incantation. _"Muffliato"_

Severus flinched at the gesture, and once again gazed at his childhood friend in dumbfounded awe. He had always been incredibly protective of his creations throughout his time at Hogwarts. Having Levicorpus used on him by James Potter was one of the most infuriating things he could recall...and it was that hatred that led to the creation of _Sectumsempra_.

He yearned to create something that would never be stolen by his delinquent adversary, and the most obvious answer had been dark magic. In his younger, more stupid days, he had passed around knowledge of _Sectumsempra_ to some of his classmates with relatives closer to the Dark Lord's inner circle, no doubt hoping to gain some favor with those who had some influence.

It had been a terrible mistake, looking back, and for as long as he could remember, seeing another person casting any spell of his creation triggered a fit of anger.

Why, then, when he watched Lily successfully cast his own _Muffliato_ , did he feel a surge of some other...more pleasant sensation in the pit of his stomach? Was that...pride?

"Now." Lily began, taking in a deep, heavy breath and letting it out slowly. "...Yesterday could have gone so much worse than it did. I don't think either of us were really in any condition to really have a healthy conversation. But you went out on a limb. You apologized to me, even though...I smiled at your pain."

Already, Severus was preparing himself for a very difficult few minutes ahead, as Lily's face had taken a much more somber expression. No doubt, he would have to endure more of those absolutely painful tears of hers again very soon.

"So...I'm sorry too. Last night, I realized something...terrible very nearly happened."

Severus regarded Lily's silence with curiosity, and waited for her to continue.

"Our friendship could have died last night. And that's not just on you. It's not just on me. It's both of us...we need to talk to each other, Severus. You can't ignore or deflect what I have to say...and I can't get throw a fit at nearly everything you say. We both need to clear the air...and more importantly, we both need to listen.

" _Here it comes…"_ Severus felt a pit forming in his stomach once he saw her green eyes beginning to flood with tears again. Honestly, why on Earth did this girl's emotions and weakness cut through him like a knife, when he ridiculed countless others for wearing their hearts on their sleeves?

"You said that...losing my friendship...is one of the worst things you could ever deal with." Lily whispered shakily. "Believe it or not...for me it's not even a question. There could be nothing worse. And plenty of things happened yesterday that helped drill that home to me."

The young Snape was immediately torn by Lily's confession. The Professor in him wanted to berate her. How incredibly naive it was to consider the loss of a friendship to be the worst thing imaginable. Case and point when she had died...and he had been helpless to do anything about it. That, for him, had been the worst feeling, followed shortly behind the night at the Fat Lady's Portrait. Yet the piece of him that still clung to her memory for all of those years felt touched by her words, if such a thing was even possible.

"So...in fairness to you...I'll give you the first chance to say something." Lily paused, looking at him expectantly.

Severus remained silent for a moment. It continued to baffle him, time after time, how he could always keep a level head, always have the right answer for everything during his time as a spy, how he managed to keep his composure during the most dire of situations...yet here, with Lily answering him a simple question, he had no idea how to respond.

It went against all of the dreams and what-if scenarios he had played in his head numerous times. He always seemed to have an answer for everything in his own mind. Why not now?

"What exactly are you asking me to say..?" Snape asked with genuine confusion.

"Just talk, Severus. Speak your mind to me...open up...tell me something I could do to improve upon being your friend…anything at all."

His black eyes twitched slightly at Lily's final suggestion. _"Something she could do to improve herself..?"_

"...nothing…" he hoarsely whispered, as his past began to blur through his mind.

"Severus, I'm serious. Nobody's perfect...I know I haven't been."

His answer hadn't been meant as a way to dodge Lily's question. Far from it...instead, he began to realize the importance of returning to this era. Not just the site of his worst memory, but also the root of a much, greater problem.

With all of his fantasies and dreams of changing his worst memory, none of them ever sought to approach the bigger problem. He looked into her eyes, wanting to confess, but not finding the strength to give his thoughts a voice.

Even if she had forgiven him, that night in front of the Fat Lady's Portrait...he would fall back into his routine. Perhaps the short term would have been better, but unless he made a conscious decision to leave that path, there was no change to the long-term.

There was absolutely nothing that could have been done to salvage their friendship. The damage had already been done. He had chosen his path, the wrong one, and insisted that the luxuries and influence would give him everything he could possibly want. Wealth...respect...and the ability to impress the one he wanted. Nothing Lily said or did would sway him from that illusion that the life of a Death Eater would bring him happiness. Only when her life was threatened, only then did reality come crashing down.

"...Lily, there's nothing you yourself could have done to make this situation any better." he could barely muster the words.

The young Prefect sitting in front of him pursed her lips in annoyance. "That's the point of this whole exercise, Severus! I'm not asking you what I could have done to move Heaven and Earth. It takes two people to be friends." she shook her head with a frown. "...Fine. I'll take my turn first, since you're illustrating one of your 'charming' little quirks. You hear my words...but you don't really listen to them."

Before Severus could react, Lily had reached forward and playfully poked at his forehead. The touch of her delicate skin sent another jolt through his internal ramblings. It was something he hadn't felt since he was a child.

Her frown slowly morphed into a thin smile. "I'd really appreciate it if you could turn the volume in your head down from time to time. You're always a prisoner of your own thoughts...if they bother you so much, why don't you just get them off your chest?"

"I wouldn't even know where to begin with any of this…" Severus retorted. It was true, after all...how could he hope to make any sense of his rebirth to someone else if he himself didn't understand? Let alone the idea of revealing to Lily that he had become every bit the person that she hated.

"You could start by taking your turn, Sev." Lily teased him.

The Slytherin suddenly took an errant breath, choking briefly. "...What...did you just call me?"

Lily's own, green eyes widened somewhat in realization. It had been completely subconscious; she hadn't called him by that nickname in months. Of course, it had been just as long since they had any kind of meaningful conversation.

Rather than run from it or deny it though, Lily's smile returned. "I called you Sev."

"Thought so…" he nodded, regaining his composure. "Well, just for that, I suppose I can indulge you."

"Just a moment." Lily interrupted by raising her hand. "Can I just ask...what's with the way you've been talking?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The way you talk, Sev...it's so...adult...and precise. I've never known you to really be so firm in your words. You're more of an actions kind of person. It's been a long time since we've really talked, but what brought all this on?"

There it was again. The realization that a talented and deceptive spy could scarcely keep up a charade to a sixteen-year old girl. He had no answer for her...and it had been so long since he was the impulsive, awkward teenager that he had no idea how to wear such a mask. Nor, in all honesty, did he have any desire to. Severus Snape did not sneak around Hogwarts like a creeping spider. He strode with confidence and spoke with conviction. How else would he maintain the fear and respect of his students?

"I suppose you could say I've grown up a bit…" Severus shrugged, unwilling to lie but unable to know how to speak the full truth.

"Well, I like it." Lily chuckled. "It might just help us on our little exercise. Go on...you were saying before I interrupted you?"

" _She...likes it..?"_ he thought briefly, not realizing that his pale cheeks began to redden ever so slightly.

"Fine." he prepared himself, taking a deep breath in. "...The only suggestion I can make is that you cast aside whatever you remember about me. Like you said...it's been a long time since we've talked…" he paused.

" _Far longer than you can imagine…"_ he added internally.

"Try to judge me based on what you see now...rather than what you remember of the past." he requested.

Lily wanted to believe him...but she still remembered the group of Slytherin boys gathered in the Library,their faces etched with nefarious intentions...and all of the times that she had heard stories of Severus saying that terrible word. Not to mention _Sectumsempra_. So many nagging thoughts clawed at Lily, and made her afraid to trust.

"...What about your other friends?" she asked nervously, folding her arms.

"I have _no other_ friends." Severus said simply. "The only friend I have came to my defense yesterday."

"And...Muggleborns?" Lily continued.

"What about them? They're witches and wizards, just like the rest of us. I'll make a wager and say you will easily become our Head Girl in Seventh Year." Severus remembered, his lips curled into a very thin smile. "One of the most gifted students in our year is a Muggleborn witch, and you expect me to say that blood status means a damn thing?"

Unlike yesterday, Lily's smile didn't fade when she heard Severus make that affirmation. She heard the genuine tone in his words, and believed them...but how had such a change occurred in just one day?

"Any other questions you wish for me to answer?" he almost challenged her to continue.

For a moment, she was tempted to ask the final one. To bring up _Sectumsempra_ , and ask what it was that drew him towards Dark Magic. But for now, all Lily wanted to do was enjoy her friend's company, and for once, to not have it end with any drama.

She shook her head. "None for now. So...how have you been feeling?"

"Well enough, considering how painful yesterday was. Madam Pomfrey said that I shouldn't expect to get out of this blasted infirmary until tomorrow at the earliest. What about you? How have your O.W.L.s gone?"

Lily just shook her head, letting out a frustrated sigh. "...Any chance I had to get some more studying done for Ancient Runes fell through after our conversation last night. I think I did well enough, but...well, having you as a study partner might have helped. OH! Speaking of which…"

She reached into her robe pocket and pulled out a spare bit of parchment, handing it to Severus. "You'll need to take your Ancient Runes O.W.L. Professor Babbling herself will be overseeing it; all of the Ministry examiners are too booked to set aside extra time for a single student."

"When do I take it?" Severus asked, unfolding the parchment.

"She wants you in her classroom next Saturday at ten. It's really the first and only chance you have to retake it...and I can't imagine you'll want to get a Troll by skiving off that one."

"True enough." Severus nodded, looking down at the note that confirmed Lily's instructions. The Ministry always had been obsessive about its deadlines and staffing requirements when it came to Hogwarts exams. Not that it particularly mattered, Runes had never been significant to his first life...

 **Author's Note: Something I wanted to talk about (which I never really mentioned) during Tempus Vita was the idea of Time Travel as a whole. Because we have no real concept or understanding of how time works, it's best to just focus on the rules that the particular piece you're using.**

 **One of my favorite examples is The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. A story where the events that follow are eventually two, separate, parallel worlds. Same past, different and diverging futures.**

 **The Time Turner is a real prickly part of the Harry Potter canon. In Prisoner of Azkaban, it seems to follow the rules of a predestination paradox, a closed loop of events that are fulfilled thanks to Harry and Hermione's Time Travel. So was the past ever really changed?**

 **Well, in order to answer that question, you have to consider the big variable. Dumbledore. He told Hagrid that he wanted to be there for Buckbeak's execution, and he explicitly went out of his way to distract everyone that had been at the hut after, buying sufficient time for Harry and Hermione to make the big escape.**

 **The idea I have of that example is this. Those travelling through time can never change things. Only those who live in it. The past cannot be changed, only the future. Dumbledore made a conscious choice to want to avert a future tragedy, and it happened to be luck that Sirius Black's innocence was also factored in after that decision. Really brain-teasing stuff. Me trying to make sense of Harry Potter's rules of the Time Turner (something that just might be utilized in a later chapter...)**

 **And then of course we have Cursed Child, which honestly takes all of those rules and throws them right out the window.**

 **Aside from the massive discussion we could have about Time Travel, I wanted more Severus and Lily in this chapter. Namely, the fact that nothing was going to change how they ended up in his first life. Those two were in a pretty precarious situation, and even if he hadn't called her a Mudblood, I firmly believe that things would have fallen apart anyway.**

 **Lily admits that Severus has called other people Mudblood, something that he doesn't deny. He very clearly is infatuated with dark magic, and has a fantasy in his head where he becomes this big, powerful, influential figure and that will somehow impress Lily. It wasn't until Voldemort threatened her life that this illusion came crashing down and he finally came to grips with what was truly important. Severus NEEDED her to be targeted in order to kick-start his own changes for the better.**

 **By the same token, Lily is judgmental and flighty. She notices that Severus does things and associates with people that repulse her, but doesn't take into account the bigger reason for that. These two, much as I love them and will forever ship them together, were on a collision course that I believe was unavoidable unless one of them took a massive step back and really thought about how the other felt.**

 **As always, please let me know what you thought of the chapter, how it compares to the events around the same period in Tempus Vita, and what you hope to see in the future! The more detailed the review, the better! Thanks for reading and I'll see you guys soon!**


	5. Chapter 4: A Friendly Chat

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, or ideas from the Harry Potter franchise.**

"Be careful, Mr. Snape!" Madam Pomfrey urged as Severus stood up from his hospital bed that evening.

The boy sharply outstretched his arm in order to keep the mediwitch from pushing him back towards the bed. "Madam Pomfrey, I appreciate your concern, but I can go to the loo without your help. It's a concussion, not a severed limb."

Severus took a few of his usual, deliberate steps away from the bed, but suddenly, his scrawny teenage legs were overcome by a lack of balance and he quickly fell forward.

"Arresto Momento!" The incantation was shouted by both the matron and the student simultaneously. He harmlessly floated down towards the marble floor, a pleasant alternative to crashing down upon it while still reeling from a concussion.

" _That was hardly necessary, Poppy, but thank you for the sentiment."_ Severus thought to himself as he lifted himself off of the floor and made it back to a vertical base, with some unwanted assistance from the older woman.

"I'll help you to the bathroom then." It was not a question, but a demand from the nurse as she wrapped the fifth-year boy's arm around her shoulder as a way to assist him, and Severus knew from her tone that it would be unwise to argue with her any further.

" _It wasn't dizziness, woman, just being unfamiliar with this wretched teenage body."_ he groaned inwardly, mortified that someone felt he needed assistance to simply walk. It had been quite a shock to his system at how light his body was compared to his adult form. _"I suppose I was starving myself in this era."_

When he finally made it inside the bathroom, the reality stared back at him. Despite his acceptance that somehow, he was back in 1976, his eyes were wide in wonder as he was given visual confirmation of the impossible. There, before him, stood his sixteen year-old self. His hair was far more stringy, as if it were a well-used mop, and though his skin had not yet taken a sallow tone, it was pale, like a ghostly white. His school robes were baggy and loose, a sign that his mother had not bothered to keep him in well-fitting clothes, opting to simply let him grow into them to save on expenses.

Above all, what Severus felt as he stared into those deep, black eyes was disgust and loathing. His baggy clothes and ghastly appearance were befitting of the inadequate child, greedy and impoverished, whose mistakes would haunt him for decades to come.

" _If only you knew the damage you would cause shortly in your future…"_ he thought, glaring with hatred at his reflection. _"You would have been better off being devoured by Lupin that night in the Shrieking Shack."_

But as Severus put his hands to his face to feel the oily skin, the differences were starting to present themselves. Things that were not present when he looked upon his younger self during memories long past. He did not slouch, now opting to stand tall. His eyes were not wide and impetuous, but calm and focused, hardened with years of experience and tragedy in his past.

His silent reminiscing led his eyes down to the left sleeve of his robe. He reached for it, taking an expectant breath in as he unrolled the cuff and gazed at his clean, white forearm. Not even a sign of the Dark Mark that had been there for the past twenty years.

Past...or rather, future.

"A future that will never be...so long as I live." he whispered, his voice as cold and unwavering as iron.

Next to his reflection, he imagined the smile that Lily had given him earlier that morning. How her eyes gleamed like a pair of precious gems, the first true smile he had received from her in years. As good as it felt...it didn't matter what she thought of him. He came back for one reason, and her friendship was not it. It was her survival. That was all that mattered.

With renewed vigor, he looked back at his reflection once more in contemplation. There was so much more to be done if that was truly his goal. His friendship with Lily, saved with the last few threads of trust, would not be enough to change the terrible way she had died. And as he imagined those gentle, green eyes, they melted into the harsh glow of the Killing Curse, her final scream echoing like thunder, and at last, Severus' unwavering gaze in the mirror broke as he lowered his head.

For Lily to live past the age of 21, the Dark Lord would have to perish first.

" _And there lies the problem. I cannot face him alone…"_ he sighed with frustration as he made his way back towards the bathroom door. There was only one wizard that Severus could turn to for help.

* * *

"I need to speak to the Headmaster." Severus announced when Lily had come to the hospital wing for her visit.

"You, what? Why?" she asked, taken aback by the sudden declaration. "Sev, is this about what happened at the lake? I promise, Professor McGonagall has given Potter and Black detention through the rest of term."

"This has nothing to do with those brutes." Severus groaned, wishing that he hadn't been reminded that the Marauders were also at-large in this period. "There's something else I need to speak with him about. Something personal."

"Too personal to share with your best friend?" Lily inquired, raising an eyebrow for a few moments.

" _Bloody hell…"_ The raven-haired boy paused with stunned silence. This was not something he had prepared a lie for, and there was no way he could explain the circumstances of his rebirth to Lily, not now, possibly not ever.

Sensing his distress, Lily shook her head, sighing. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pry. But, why do you need me to ask? I'm not a prefect from your house. Why not just ask Slughorn?"

"Because I need someone I can trust to arrange it for me before the year is over. Slughorn is about as efficient as those textbooks he teaches from."

"And you trust me?" the copper-haired witch asked with a curious smile.

"More than anyone." Severus nodded without hesitation.

This time, it was Lily's turn to be taken aback by her friend's words.

"I guess I can try, but...I'm don't know that I can convince Professor McGonagall to arrange a meeting for you without a legitimate reason why."

Severus' eyes scanned across the hospital wing, making sure that nobody was in earshot before moving closer to Lily to whisper.

"I've...heard things. Things...and plans...about the Dark Lord. And this isn't something that I can trust Slughorn to take seriously. It needs to be the Headmaster."

The color from Lily's face drained at the indirect mention of Voldemort. "You're..serious…?"

The boy nodded back in silence.

"...I'll...I'll see what I can do." Lily sat back in her chair, gazing to the evening horizon outside the window, her eyes glazing over as if she was lost in her own thoughts.

"Something wrong?" Severus asked.

"I never thought about it this way, but...all those times I tried to help...all those fears I had that you might join them, I never really thought about the alternative. If they find out anything you say about them…"

"I can take care of myself, Lily."

"Sev, I just don't want to see you get hurt." Lily focused her eyes back to him. "I'm glad that you want to do the right thing, but Merlin help me, if you get targeted for it...I wanted to keep you away from them...away from HIM. But there's more you can do than just choose his side or Dumbledore's."

"The only side I choose is yours." Severus immediately countered, staring intensely into her wide, emerald eyes. There was a slight redness filling her cheeks.

There was an almost uncomfortable silence that hung after that statement, and Lily, for her part, seemed torn on how to respond to such words.

"Severus, what happened to you?"

"I fell on my head, in case you didn't notice." Severus quipped back, trying to divert her suspicious question with a smirk.

"No, something is definitely going on here." she shook her head, not accepting his attempt at sarcasm. "You have never been this easy to have a conversation with."

Her expression hardened as she folded her arms. "I'm liking this new and improved you, but forgive me for asking where it came from. You weren't exactly the picture of change during the incident at the lake yesterday, stuttering and swearing at James Potter. You're telling me that a bump on your head shook all of those cobwebs loose?"

"So you DIDN'T notice that I aged twenty years?" he smiled slightly as he offered the truth willingly to Lily, knowing she wouldn't believe it.

"Very funny." Lily's gaze grew more curious the more Severus deflected. "Why are you being so dodgy about this?"

"The better question would be why are you being so stubborn about it?" he shrugged with impatience.

Her own smirk formed on her lips. "Because I know you. And I know when you're trying to hide something.

" _For Merlin's sake, she never gives up…"_ he rolled his eyes.

"What if it isn't something that can be explained?" he challenged her.

"Sev, you're a wizard. I'm a witch. We live in a world with magic. Who bloody cares if it can be explained or not? If you keep dodging, I'm going to assume someone's polyjuiced you and I'm talking to an imposter."

"Well tell me, oh shining example of Gryffindor pride, are your bedroom walls still painted that gaudy red color?"

"Hey!" she gasped, playfully swatting his shoulder. "My room was painted red long before I was sorted!"

"I know." Severus nodded. "I seem to recall you hoping that you could join that house because...how did you put it..? 'Because it was the red one'?"

Lily's head rolled back and she burst into laughter. "I did say that, didn't I? Honestly, how naive was I?"

"Plenty naive. But we both were." his voice softened, as he looked down at his lap.

The redheaded witch sighed in defeat. "Alright...just...promise to tell me when you're ready, alright?"

"I could promise...but I might have to obliviate you after I told you." Severus considered out loud.

Lily snorted. "Then I'll make you promise not to obliviate me."

"Must you always have the last word in our conversations, Lily?" he asked with a knowing smile.

"Must you?" she smiled back. "And who said our conversation was done?"

Before Severus could answer, there was a single ring in the distance of the clock tower, alerting the school that it was half an hour to curfew.

Lily's cheeks puffed with annoyance as she looked back down at Severus. "This isn't over. I trust that you'll be here tomorrow?"

"Where else would I be? Madam Pomfrey would sooner hit me with a full body-bind curse before letting me leave without making certain that I was recovered enough."

"Perhaps someone might smuggle in some breakfast for you tomorrow then." Lily grinned as she got to her feet and looked down at him one final time.

"That won't be necess-"

"Oh, I think it will be." she interrupted him as she shook her head. "You starve yourself any more and someone might mistake you for a dementor."

"Charming." he scoffed in return, shaking his head. "Do what you will, then."

"I always do...goodnight, Sev." Lily gave one final smile before turning towards the door of the hospital wing.

"Goodnight, Lily." he responded, before finally being left alone once more in the hospital wing. After a few moments, the thin smile on his lips vanished.

There was no way he could ever tell Lily the truth. The information was far too important for a fifth-year girl to know. And of course, there was the other fact.

" _She would cast you out like she did before."_

 **Author's Note: Surprise! It's been a really long stretch of silence and a very busy summer. I'm going to forego my usual nonsense of introspective analysis and get right to the point. This was NOT an easy chapter to write, nor one that I feel was really up to snuff. More just something to let you guys know that I'm alive, and actively working on continuing.**

 **Before I started writing this chapter, I spent a great deal of time reading a new favorite Severus-Lily "Back in Time" fanfiction, "The Peace Not Promised", by Tempest Kiro. There is such an impressive amount of detail and soul put into the writing, that it both inspired me to continue, but also intimidated and discouraged me. I have a bit of writer's rust that I need to shake off, which leads me to my next point.**

 **I am in dire need of a beta. Not necessarily for spelling or grammar, as I'm pretty sure I have those on lock. Rather, I want someone to bounce some ideas off of, someone who will look over the work before it's published, and add their two cents on things that the story may need, and yes...someone to share what my goals and plot points are so I have a better handle on leading it where I want to go. So yeah...spoilers for the brave soul who is accepted.**

 **If you're at all interested of being the beta, please, send me a private message here and we'll try to set something up. I'm really only looking for one right now, and I'd rather it be someone who is invested in the story and detailed enough to be familiar with Viridi, and its predecessor, Tempus Vita.**

 **As always, please let me know with reviews (the more detailed, the better!) as to your thoughts on the Chapter and the story so far. I know better than to make promises on when the next installment will be, but rest assured, it WILL be. I will never abandon this story until it's finished.**

 **Thank you all!**


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